Attachment

“A woman came to me once and she said, ‘I can’t be a Buddhist.’ I said, ‘Why?’ And she said, ‘Because I’m too attached to my children. I’m attached to them; I couldn’t give them up.’ 

But those who really love their children wouldn’t be attached to them. Attachment always means that you want something. ‘I love you,’ can mean, ‘I want something in return.’ Either I want you to love me back, or I want you to do what I want you to do. I want you to agree with me. If my love is conditioned, I am always making some deal, aren’t I? If I am expecting you to respect me, or give me something, or if I demand something, then I would say that is attachment.

If you really love your children, your husband, your wife, or whoever, if it is unconditioned love, then there is no attachment. Or if there is, you are willing to let go of it once you see it. Once you observe attachment and have that intention to let it go — which doesn’t mean you get rid of your kids — you let go of demanding and blackmailing them and so forth. The letting go is something inside; it is a relinquishment of that horrible thing, that emotional demanding.”

~ Ven Ajahn Sumedho