A Meditator’s Near-Death Experience

May 22, 2016

Dr. Umesh Perera, who practices general medicine in Australia, learned Vipassana in Sri Lanka in 2003. After suffering a heart attack at the age of 43, he recorded his experiences.

On August 28, 2014, I nearly died.

That day, I had an early morning house call. During it, I felt symptoms of indigestion. I ignored them but they persisted.

After the call, I started to drive home but the discomfort worsened and became chest pain, radiating into my left arm and jaw. I was sweating profusely and felt shortness of breath.

I managed to reach my home, entered and sat down. I took off my sweat-drenched jacket and told my wife what was happening. I opened my emergency bag, took an aspirin and used a spray medication. I then called emergency services and said I thought I was having a heart attack.

The ambulance arrived very quickly, and the team began attending to me. I felt as if an elephant was sitting on my chest. Still, I was fully alert and conscious. Without deciding to do it, I found that I was practicing Vipassana. Part of my mind was observing sensations and not reacting to them. I was in a lot of pain but at the same time there was no pain at all. I felt peaceful and content. There was not a trace of worry in my mind, no anxiety or fear. Instead, I felt relaxed and peaceful.

My wife was sitting beside me, our cat was licking me, and I thought, “This is the end. At last I’m free.” It felt so good that everything was over. There would be no more worries now. I let go of everything. I will never forget the sense of pure, unlimited freedom, of peace and tranquility. I felt pure and undefiled.

Somehow, the entire situation seemed familiar to me, as if I had experienced it many times before.

I realized that I could not take anything or anybody with me—not my wife, my son or parents, nothing that I owned. Just myself. No, not even myself—nothing. Instead of sadness or worry, I felt at peace. I felt spiritual.

The attendant confirmed that I was having a heart attack. I think I said, “That’s okay,” and smiled.

I also laughed. Honestly, I hadn’t felt better in a very long time. Later, I longed for the peace that I felt then.

The attendants put me in the ambulance. Now I was practicing Vipassana lying down, observing my sensations arising and passing. I thought, “Anicca, anicca. Everything is impermanent.”

I was taken to the hospital cardiac catheterization lab. It was a short journey but felt long.

Three or four people clustered around me, attaching leads to my chest, inserting small tubes in my forearms, removing my clothing, prepping me for surgery, connecting me to a monitor. The oxygen mask made it difficult for me to talk. But I was smiling because I felt good.

The cardiologist explained that he was going to insert a stent to open a blocked coronary artery. As he performed the procedure, the pain at first worsened. Once the blood was able to flow through the artery, the pain went away.

After the surgery, I had to spend four hours immobile in the recovery room. This was fine with me because I could practice Vipassana. While the nurse took care of me, I remember that I told her about meditation and what life is from a spiritual viewpoint.

Six months later, I feel that this experience opened me up to reality. There was a strong chance I could have died. At the moment of death, you don’t have many choices. All you can control is how you react to the present moment.

Life has changed for me. What once seemed important has become unimportant, and what I never cared about has become the center of my life. Through Vipassana, I learned real equanimity. I learned this and so much more.