Tan Ajahn : For someone, to give up the worldly life is not easy. It takes a lot of effort, special effort, so I think you should be glad. You will be like the Buddha’s mother. There is nothing better in the world than Dhamma. Dhamma can help you from being affected by all forms of suffering. Nothing else in the world can help you, but will only make you suffer more. The more you have, the more suffering you will have, because of your attachment.
For example you have attachment to your son, so when he had to leave, you became very unhappy. But if you have wisdom, then instead of being unhappy, you will be very happy because you know that he is doing something great, something that very few people in the world can do. It’s greater than winning an Olympic gold medal, so you should really be proud of him.
He hasn’t really left you; you can still communicate and see each other. He will cause fewer problems for you because he will not be misbehaving. But if he was a layperson, he might get drunk, drive and be involved in an accident, and that would cause you more sorrow and pain than him living in the forest as a monk. After a few years, he will be a teacher and be respected by many people. People will come and seek his advice.
So I think that if you see things in the proper light, you will be happy. You should overcome your attachment. You have to understand that regardless of what you have, everything you own is a temporary possession. One day you will either leave it, or it will leave you, and if you are attached to it, when it leaves you, you will be very unhappy. But if you are not attached when it goes, it will not affect you.
So, the Buddha tells us to always reflect on the impermanence of things and of life. Our life on this earth is temporary. We are only here for a certain period of time, and after that we will have to leave this earth or this world. So in order to live and depart happily, we must not cling to anything. We must not consider things as belonging to ourselves. Always remind ourselves that things are just temporary possessions, things that are loaned to you.
They are not given to you; they don’t belong to you. One day you will have to give them up. If you always think like this, you will not be unhappy with anything, because you will be ready and willing to let things go when they have to go. Okay?
The same thing can cause two different results: it can make you happy or it can make you sad. It all depends on your approach or attitude towards that particular thing. If you cling to it, you will be unhappy. If you are detached from it, you will always be happy regardless of what happens. Do you want to be unhappy or happy?
Question: Urrr …be happy.
Tan Ajahn: Then you must not cling. You must be ready to give up.
Question : But it’s not easy.
Tan Ajahn: It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible. The Buddha had to give up all his possessions. He was a prince. He gave up his princely life to live as a monk, as a beggar in the forest. But he found true happiness. He was not happy when he was living in the palace.
He was always worried and anxious about things around him and about his own self, his own body. He realized that he would have to get old, get sick and eventually die. He wasn’t yet ready to face those things, but after he left the palace to practise meditation and develop wisdom, he eventually could face up to everything that would happen to him without any fear or sorrow.
This is something that we all can do, but we just don’t do it because we haven’t been shown how great it is to be free from suffering. So we still cling and attach to our possessions, family, and friends without realizing that we are actually causing suffering for ourselves unnecessarily. We are lucky to be born at a time when there are the teachings of the Buddha who taught us this particular thing, who taught us to live in such a way that we won’t have to be unhappy at all.
It is just up to us whether we can follow his instructions or not. If we can, we win. If we can’t, we lose. So this is the essence of becoming a monk. (Referring to her son) He wants to win. Do you understand?
By Ajaan Suchart Abhijāto
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